My spine straightens

In my apartment, I created this perfect little workstation in the corner of my living room. My desk is an art table that I’ve had for almost 15 years. I’ve replaced the stool with my ancient purple La-Z-Boy recliner. And part of me wonders if I’ve made a mistake in creating this space because I’ve all but abandoned my living room and dining room. When I wake up in the morning, all I want to do is go straight to my workstation and start writing.

Lately, I’ve been digging into homiletics and practicing speaking out my inner thoughts. I’m making myself complete those thoughts rather than stopping halfway if I don’t think that I’m getting it right.

I learned something about myself in doing this. When I’m speaking to an empty room, I’m awkward and jumbled and mixed up in my speech. But when I’m in front of at least one person, my spine straightens, and I’m able to speak with conviction. I know who I am, and I know exactly what I want to say.

I didn’t realize this until I sat down to type this email. I think that I’ve found peace in my heart. I always knew that I would get to this stage to feel ready to do something like this. Now that I’m finally here, the expansiveness of it all is humbling and moving.

It feels as if I’ve walked up to a door and opened it, expecting to walk into another room. But instead, I realize that I’ve just opened a door into the hall of a cathedral.

I’m excited to share this journey with you.

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