A private conversation

It starts with a soft ding! notification on my phone. I open up the LinkedIn app, click on the icon to access the private messages, and I see the beginnings of a note.

It usually follows a certain pattern:

Hey, Gabby. I hope this message finds you well. I’ve been following your posts for some time now. I read your most recent post, and I see that you’re offering free career coaching this month. I’d love to take you up on your offer if it’s still available.

I respond by sending over a link to my calendar, and I wait to see which time slots the person ends up picking.

If they choose a slot within the week, I can often predict the tone and flow that our conversation will take. The person will usually have very little reservation in sharing what’s going on. We plot and scheme and brainstorm to our heart’s content. The person usually walks away with several pathways mapped out that they can then explore.

If they choose a slot much later in the month, that’s when things take on a slightly different character. The person will be glad to join me in the Zoom session, but there’s a subtle, almost protective aura present. The person wants to take this step, but they’re a bit unsure of what it is they want to say.

It’s a brave and difficult thing, talking about our career journeys.

My job is to create a space that’s safe, private, and free from any form of judgment. It’s also my task to make sure that the person sees the session as an event with zero consequences. They can say whatever it is that they need to say. They can express themselves however they like. I will never force them to make a decision, and I will never set any expectations for them to follow-through on.

I bring just one goal with me to the session - that they will be fully comfortable being themselves. I ask questions that will stretch their thinking. I give them things to contemplate. When the call is complete, I invite the person to come back whenever they like.

I don’t think of these sessions as career coaching. Rather, I see these as a private conversation between two people, where we can say what we’ve been wanting to say for years.

I believe that we live in a kind world and that much of this kindness is visible through the actions we take for each other. But there’s kindness in listening, and kindness in creating welcoming spaces, where we can do a much better job in placing our efforts.

In the next email, I’m going to sift through the reasons why we get to a point where we want to have a conversation about our careers. It’s a long list - but a few themes stick out that I believe are worth the time to explore.

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